Yuki no Hana
by ajremix
Summary: In Touma's most vulnerable state, Shin must decided to either speak out, or let go. Shin/Touma


Okay, this was supposed to be a short, sweet little love story but blew out of proportion into. well, into what you're about to read. I couldn't help, I was listening to Tenku Den and the translation and it was snowing outside and it looked so pretty and my mom said something about snow blossoms and this fic just came up. There's a little play on words (concerning the title), yuki can mean a couple of thinks but the context I use is 'snow' and 'courage' (though they're pronounced differently) while hana stays the same: 'flower' or 'blossom'. Oh, if the metaphors get a bit wordy, sorry. We're reading The Great Gatsby in English and Fitzgerald really gets them descriptions going. The characters don't belong to me and this is yaoi so watch out!  
  
Yuki no Hana  
  
Lady Virgo  
  
  
  
Snow fell in dusted powder, sweeping up and down the roads in a flurry that gently rained on to the ground, coating it in perfect, unbroken white. The few cars that passed at the base of the mountain path heated the roads from the friction of tires and steam of the exhaust to create a slick, ice black trail after them.  
  
It wasn't much to look at in Shin's point of view. Sure, the stretch of snow covered yard was something he could look at for hours on end but it was only three inches of snow and Ryou, Xiu, Byakuen and Jun had already let loose earlier in the day. All that was left at the large cabin were wisps of snow tracks, trampled grasses that randomly poked and swayed in the swirling wind and the pitiful remains of what had been the snow daemon Arago that the four had thoroughly trashed.  
  
It was mid-late January and it now only decided to snow, canceling school for the day and yet it still fell strongly from last midnight to near dusk. As uncharacteristic as people might think, Shin still prayed that the snow would hang around through the night and give the boys another day-off.  
  
He sighed and pushed away from the window, carrying a tray of soup, tea and hot coca for the others gathered around the oaken coffee table in the den where the soft melodies of Bach floated in the air. Ryou, complaining about the cold, was practically sitting in the fireplace, a blanket draped across his lap and one across his shoulders. Shin's lips twitched slightly as he recognized the second blanket as the plain, woolen brown one that belonged to Seiji. The before mentioned bearer of Korin was sitting in his usual seat, pausing in his polite conversation with the others to thank Shin for the tea, as courteous as ever of course. Byakuen was wedged comfortably between Xiu and Nasuti and Jun hovered about the tiger, all three talking and laughing.  
  
He frowned. "Touma isn't going to join us again?"  
  
Xiu took his bowl of from his best friend with a careless grin. "Nah, he's got to study for finals."  
  
Nasuti smiled. "Well, someone has a sense of responsibility. Shouldn't the rest of you be doing the same?"  
  
"Nani? They're two weeks away!"  
  
Shin frowned again. "He's been locked away in his room for three days. Isn't anyone worried about him?"  
  
"Daijobu, Shin." Xiu said, attacking the complimentary crackers with his usual gusto. "He did this for high school exams, too. He just wants to make sure he gets into a good college is all."  
  
Ryou turned around, taking his hot coca and soup from Shin with a thankful nod. "Yeah, but if he's not careful he'll work himself sick. Just like with the high school exams. Do you remember how much harder it was to wake him up then?"  
  
"Aa. The poor, miserable sap."  
  
The two dark haired troopers chuckled and shook their heads. Their eyes then darted up the stairs to their friend's door and both slowly leaned forward and rapped their knuckles on the wooden table.  
  
"You know he wants to go to a college in America."  
  
Everyone fell silent and turned to Seiji who was flipping through the newspaper with limited interest.  
  
"Doshite? Why would he want to do that?" Jun asked only slightly crossed at the idea that one of his 'niichans' would leave.  
  
A shrug was all he got in response.  
  
Shin shifted the tray uncomfortably, suddenly feeling very scared and vulnerable. "I'll, uh, take this up to Touma." He headed for the stairs.  
  
"Ganbatte," Seiji called up after him. "I don't think Touma will have time to eat with all his studying."  
  
The auburn haired boy just smiled though he had to force it. "Don't be silly. Even Tensai has to take time from studying to eat!" He involuntarily shivered at the thought of a half-starved Touma, studying by himself in the cold dark. "Hmm. I think Ryou's right. We should turn the thermostat up a bit. It's a little chilly in here."  
  
Ryou's triumphant smile was lost on Seiji and Nasuti. Strange, Shin hardly ever felt the cold. After all, he was the one that went swimming in the lake earlier when it was only 23 degrees.  
  
He knocked lightly on the door, almost afraid that a loud noise would cause Touma to become angry with him. "Touma? Touma, are you up?" Shin smiled slightly. "Touma-kun? C'mon, Touma-kun, open up."  
  
The door creaked slightly open and Touma poked his head out, a disgruntled look on his face. "Don't," he commanded in a soft-rough tone, lidded eyes peering from behind a mess of dark bangs, "call me 'Touma- kun'."  
  
Shin slipped under and past the taller soldier, a friendly smile on his face. "Well then, you should answer your door when I call for you the first time." The smile faltered when he looked around the room.  
  
Though Touma wasn't the cleanest person around (that honor goes to Seiji) his room wasn't usually considered a mess. Or at least not as much as it currently was. Papers and books were scattered about the desk, some on the floor and falling about in the usually painfully, meticulously organized bookshelf. Formula written papers, pencils, pens, diagrams, reference books, textbooks and countless other things looked as if they've been flung at random from one side of the room to the other. The only things that seemed to remain untouched was the bed and several other trays still filled with food. Shin's heart wrenched painfully.  
  
Without any emotion or care for the food and beverage made especially for him, Touma jerked the tray from Shin's grasp and shoved it with the others that collected on top of his bureau. "Arigato." He said hollowly. "Sumimasen, but I have things that need to be done." He turned back around and headed towards his mussed up desk.  
  
"Touma!" Shin grabbed his arm, keeping the other in place. "You can't stay in here all the time, it's not healthy! Come down stairs, you're making everyone worry."  
  
He turned and looked Shin in the eyes, making the elder shiver. His midnight blue eyes, though weary, were still intense and piercing. Shin flushed under the gaze, grateful for the dark of night. He dropped his hand from the smooth, warm pale skin under the fingertips that spread heat through his body. Shin suddenly felt hot and tight, almost like he suddenly couldn't breath. His hands clenched tightly to his chest and all he knew were those eyes just watching him.  
  
"Shin?" The other's voice and eyes grew soft with unspoken concern; a hand rested lightly on his slender shoulders. "Daijobu desu ka?" Touma's long fingers floated up to Shin's forehead, brushing fatherly against the soft velvet of his cheek. "Maybe you got that fever Jun had earlier."  
  
Shin's green eyes widened at the cool touch on his head. He couldn't help but to admire the way Touma was created for the night, the dark of his hair and eyes, how the pale silver of skin looked so silky and smooth, fading into black. His eyes always sparkled with the distance of the stars, held captive in a cage of dark lashes. He wanted to know so badly if the strands of ebony blue hair felt as soft and silky as they looked, or the soft curves of those lips.  
  
Abruptly Touma pulled away. "Iie, your temperature is fine. maybe it's just hot." He popped the first button on his shirt, trying to wave in air. "Mou, it is hot. Did you guys let Ryou get to the thermostat again?" He looked around the room, brow creasing as if he had seen the mess for the first time, and became embarrassed, swearing softly. "Gomen nasai. everything's a mess. I didn't mean for it to get like this."  
  
Shin laughed nervously. "Iie, wakatta." He looked down and gently nudged a nearby book with a toe to mask his embarrassment. "Ano, Touma?"  
  
"Hai?"  
  
"Aren't you hungry? I mean, when was the last time you ate?"  
  
Before the other could answer his stomach grumbled loudly. The tension broke and both laughed. "Hai. I guess I've been too busy to notice food." He looked at the food left on his bureau. "Eto. maybe I should get some dinner."  
  
Shin clutched Touma's hand with his own pale fingers and tugged lightly on them. "Come on. I'll make you something good to eat then, ne?"  
  
Touma smiled lightly and squeezed Shin's hand, making his heart flutter. "If you insist."  
  
As they walked down the stairs the bearer of Suiko became hyper-aware of the slender warm hand covering his own and the close proximity of the other Trooper. The tightness returned with a passion and he wanted to push away from Touma and hold him as close as he could at the same time. A yearning to keep Tenku no Touma by his side, to care for him and watch over him bloomed deep in his heart along with the happiness of bringing the boy out of studying when even Seiji, his best friend, couldn't do so. He felt just so warm and safe; Shin's eyes slowly slid shut to revel fully in the feelings as something moved across his waist.  
  
"Ne, Shin?" His blue-green eyes opened to meet Touma's midnight blue. "You tired? Maybe you should get some sleep."  
  
He jerked back; realizing his head had fallen against the woolen shoulder of the other boy, Touma's arm wrapped around his waist to keep him upright. He stumbled from Touma's grasp, painfully bumping into the railing. "Ano. gomen." Shin tried vainly to keep his facial color under control. "I was just thinking about something, ah. gomen."  
  
Touma shook his dark head with a chuckle, arm snaking around Shin's shoulders as he walked down the stairs, pulling the other with him. "Honto ni?" He stopped and turned to the other, a seductive smile on his boyish face. "Was it me?" His voice was low and husky, whispering kisses across the other's ear and causing a slight shiver to tremble through his spin.  
  
With a deep breath Shin continued down the stairs. "Why would you care I was or not? That's nothing to kid about." It came out harsher than he had intended but he was too embarrassed to care.  
  
"Che, it was just a joke, Shin." There was barely concealed hurt in Touma's voice and Shin winced. "I didn't really mean anything about it. Look, just forget about it, I'm not very hungry after all."  
  
Shin watched as Touma moved back upstairs and felt horrible. He kept forgetting that Touma never had any real friends before he became part of the Troopers. He didn't know how to act around others and didn't want to hurt or bother them but he didn't want to be alone again, either. Shin knew what it was like to be isolated. He tried so hard to make friends because he knew the pains of not having anyone to turn to but Touma would rather be alone than tell anyone, even the other Troopers, about his fears and weaknesses because he didn't want to burden anyone with 'trivial' matters. He and Seiji were the only ones that Touma could talk to freely and yet with Seiji the warrior of the firmament always kept his defenses up. But Shin knew the secrets Touma would tell no one else, how alone he felt, how much he wished he were strong, like the others. And because of that Shin felt closer to Touma than anyone else. And that closeness had made him feel the pain, loneliness and sorrow that Touma felt and grew into something akin to. love?  
  
".men nasai."  
  
Touma stopped at the soft voice and gazed at Shin out of the corner of his eye, the latter's arms wrapped around his chest and the soft mane of feather hair tickling against the back of his neck.  
  
"Gomen nasai. I didn't mean to make you feel unwanted."  
  
He ran his long fingers up the arms that crisscrossed his chest, gently prying them away from him as he continued his journey to his room. "I don't feel unwanted. I know that all this kindness isn't true, who would want me, anyway?" Touma's chin and voice trembled finely. "I'm no good, not even my own parents want me. why else would Oka and Oto never return home? I just get in the way of everyone."  
  
"Touma?" Said boy turned. "Are you up for a little walk? I want to show you something." With a slow nod the blue eyed boy followed Shin back down the stairs and out the door and into the swirling snow.  
  
They walked in silence, heading towards the lake where bits of ice began to form at the edges and bobbed up against the rippling waves. Snow fell in silent clumps from the branches that swayed in the pushing wind, billowing flakes around the strolling couple in transparent silk.  
  
"Touma. You're not like the others." Shin stated simply. "Why won't you talk to us?"  
  
"Nani yo? I talk to you guys."  
  
"Iie, I mean really talk to us. Tell us what's wrong, let us help you."  
  
Touma closed his eyes; his face set in stone. "Nothing is wrong with me. Besides, if there was I could deal with it myself. You guys don't have to bother with me."  
  
"We're your friends, you could never be a bother to us. Sure we may get upset at you at times, or you could be annoyed by us but we're always there for each other when it counts. That's what friends are for and that's why we're here for you."  
  
Touma let out a snort. "Why does everyone keep sayin' 'that's what friends are for' and 'we're your friends' and all? I know you guys are."  
  
"You know but you don't believe us." Touma looked at Shin in surprise. Was he that transparent? "It's because you've never had friends before. I know because I was like that once. Ryou and Seiji, too, but they've gotten better." He smiled reflectively. "Xiu is lucky. He's the only one that's lead a truly normal life."  
  
"If you call being Kongo no Xiu and fighting against youja and Masho normal."  
  
"Well, most normal, then." Shin looked up into the sky. "Ne, Touma. What do you think when you look up into the night sky and see the stars and moon?"  
  
Touma looked at the water warrior strangely before turning his attention to the sky he so loved. "I think of the great distances between the stars and how they look so close when they're really so very far apart. Even though I know that space is chaotic and cold, the stars look so calm, peaceful and bright. And when I look at the moon all I can see are the craters that scar it, how it needs the sun just to be seen. I can't help but feel hurt thinking how, without help, the moon would be forgotten and dark and no one could see it."  
  
Ah. so that's it. Shin nodded, suddenly understanding the other as the feeling of void washed over him whenever the empathic link up was initiated. "You want to know what I think?"  
  
He shrugged. "Hai."  
  
"Tsuki ga." he said slowly, deliberately, "it's so large and bright and close. It may be scared but it still moves strong, still protecting the earth that it circles. Even though it's far away from all the stars and planets it's the thing everyone around the world sees. At night, at dawn, even in the middle of the day. It's always there to protect the people of this planet and stays strong and calm and would never fail anyone. The stars twinkle at it, praising it from afar and there whenever it needs help." Shin turned to Touma. "Don't you understand? You are strong, even if you don't realize it.  
  
"Who lead us to find the fifth Samurai Trooper? Who gave us direction when Ryou wasn't able to? Who gave us hope when we were captured by the Masho? Who was the one that saved Ryou from Kayura at the risk of his own life? Even though you weren't our leader," he said, hands placed on Touma's shoulders, "you showed us what to do. Even Ryou followed you because he believes in you just like the rest of us do. We know that you can pull through, that you wouldn't fail us because we trust in you and your power. And because we are your friends. Don't think you're useless because you're not. If it weren't for your determination to pull through we wouldn't have survived the youja. Please, Touma. don't be so hard on yourself."  
  
The other stood rigid, hands clenched at his side. He turned away, hair ruffling in the wind and flecked with silver. "I'm so selfish."  
  
"Touma."  
  
"You guys even say so your selves. I'm just a selfish, frightened coward." He turned to look at Shin, tears lining his eyes like liquid crystals. "I'm so scared, Shin. I don't want to get hurt, I'm frightened of pain."  
  
"Is that why you want to go to America?"  
  
Touma slowly nodded. "I'm frightened that I'll do something wrong and everyone will hate me. I never had friends before and I don't want to do or say anything that will ruin my friendship with you. Any of you."  
  
Slowly, hesitantly Shin took a step forward, suddenly feeling as if a single touch would cause the fragile glass that was Touma to shatter and be lost to them all in an instant. He touched a hand to Touma's jacket, gently pulling the other to him in a loose but strong hug.  
  
"You could never ruin our friendship, Touma. We all do dumb things that irritate each other and we may get into fights and arguments but it's those things that test our bonds. Those are the things that make our friendship stronger and worth fighting for. That's the entire point of being a friend."  
  
He made a sound somewhere between a sniffle and a chuckle. "Nani? You mean to bug the hell outta one another?"  
  
Shin's shoulders shook in silent mirth. "Hai, basically." He spotted something shimmering on a nearby tree blanketed in snow. "Ne, Touma, look. It's a yuki no hana."  
  
The other looked confused. "Snow blossom? Shin, what are you talking about?"  
  
He walked to the small fir tree, scooping something in his bare hands. "Just something Okasan would tell me. Every time it snowed we'd always go out and find yuki no hana. See?" Cupped in his hands was a mass of snow, forming a sort of crystallized flower that sparkled with ice fragments in the moonlight.  
  
"So," Touma said curiously, "what did you do when you found one?"  
  
Shin shrugged. "Okasan said to keep it there because things belong in their natural habitats."  
  
"That the reason you don't have an aquarium?"  
  
He nodded. "But sometimes I would do this." To Touma's surprise, Shin crushed the snow blossom in his hands and whirled around.  
  
.and the hastily made snowball impacted dead on Touma's face.  
  
Shin collapsed to the ground, laughing as Touma faltered back a few steps to regain his sense of balance. With a mock angry swipe, Touma flicked the snow from his face, beads still sticking to his hair and jacket. A low growl emanated from deep with his throat.  
  
"TEME!!" He charged at Shin and shoved handfuls of snow down the latter's shirt. And so started the snow fight.  
  
When the two finally came back inside Nasuti greeted them both with cups of hot coca and miso soup after they peeled away their clinging, dribbling clothes. Touma and Xiu fought for most of the soup while the others teased them on their large appetites. Xiu defended himself saying that he was a growing boy and needed the extra food to which Touma replied that if Xiu grew anymore they'd sell him to the local zoo as a hippo. That lead to an impromptu wrestling match which Touma clearly lost.  
  
The night of laughter drudged on till the first star began to fade and still it continued to daybreak. A few hours before sunrise Ryou helped Seiji up to his bedroom, the former having to carry the taller yet feather light Trooper whom had fallen asleep curled next to the warmth that was the blazing Rekka warrior. Xiu and Jun had basically passed out on the floor with the slumbering tiger curled half around them like a black stripped crescent moon protecting the stars within its tips. Nasuti had excused herself a little while after midnight, leaving Shin to wash the dishes and Touma drifting half asleep from his position at the picture window, half leaning, half sitting against the polished of the sill.  
  
"Yoake no utsukushii, ne?"  
  
Touma jerked back to awareness, taken aback by the sudden whisper that warmed the tip of his ear. He turned to see Shin's warm sea eyes laughing quietly. He smiled, tired lines crossing his face causing him to look much older than he should. "Hai, it is." Touma's eyes flickered to Shin briefly before turning back to the view in front of them. "You know, I always stay up to watch the sun rise. It never ceases to take my breath away."  
  
"Funny. Never figured you as the romantic type." The other replied though his eyes never strayed from Touma's reflection. "Though it makes sense. Explains why it's so hard to get you up early, anyway."  
  
Touma moved to allow room for Shin to sit opposite him. "Ne, Shin."  
  
"Hai?"  
  
He nervously plucked at his fingers. "Do the others mind? I mean, about me wanting to go to the States. Are they angry at me for it?" Though his head stayed down, his eyes peered up under his bangs at the other.  
  
There was a low, quiet chuckle. "Iie, they're not mad. They're kinda upset that you want to go so far away." Shin forced a yawn to cover up the pained sigh threatening to rise out of his throat. "But we know that if you really feel you must." He leaned over and patted Touma's hand lightly. "We respect your decision and will miss you dearly. We'll wait for you to return to us."  
  
Touma's face brightened with a smile of relief that melted Shin, feeling him with limitless, indescribable emotion at being able to receive a true, real smile from the person who hid behind the boundaries of cynicism. His dark head lowered and he whispered in a gentle, soft voice that flowed like a breeze and bringing sunlight into Shin's heart, wrapping him in warmth, lashes lowering until only a sliver of pure sapphire glittered under lengths of black silk. "Arigato. Shin." With a yawning sigh Touma listed into a deep sleep.  
  
Shin stood and walked to the linen closet, pulling out a soft blanket of powdered blue to drape across the person that had captured his heart in so many ways.  
  
He paused at Touma's side before turning to head to his own room and paused again. He returned to the window, brushing the mercury locks from the innocent face sleeping beneath his hand as they ran like satin water between his fingertips.  
  
"So soft." he whispered to himself, content and awed at the way Touma's hair felt, so cool to his warm touch like the soft skin covering the hot red rivers of crystal streams of life through his lean body.  
  
Shin pressed a kiss to his fingers before placing them against Touma's lips, caressing them with butterfly touches. Hardly aware of what he was doing, he bent forward, gentle fingers lifting the other's face towards him and touched their lips together with unspoken vows and promises of love and strength.  
  
The lips of soft pink silk formed a breath of a word that caused him to tremble with need. "Shin." Touma's head rolled gently to the side, butting lightly against Shin's chest with the whisper of a smile on his lips, a hand entwining around the hem of Shin's sweater, tugging him closer ever so slightly.  
  
"So lovely." Shin placed another butterfly kiss upon Touma's forehead, running fingertips through his hair and reveling in the simple contact and the warmth of the feelings swirling about him. "Lovely Touma- kun. one day my yuki no hana will bloom and then," another chaste kiss touched Touma's eyelids, ".and then I will be able to tell you how I feel."  
  
Owari!  
  
Aw, aren't I just the romantic?  
  
Touma: What's this? Shin's taking advantage of me in my sleep?  
  
Shin: *blushing furiously* I am not!  
  
Touma: Then what's with all these kisses you're stealing from me?  
  
Shin: I, I mean, it's-it's Virgo's doing! She's making me do all that!  
  
Virgo: Ne, Shin-chan, Touma-kun, I thought that's what you wanted. After all you've been bugging me for week to write it. *Touma and Shin stay silent* Don't you like it? I made it 'cause it was just so sweet and I like you two and.* begins to get teary eyed* You don't like. And I tried so hard! *full wail*  
  
Touma: O-oi, oi! We didn't mean it like that! It's just that. ano. Shin?  
  
Shin: Oh, well thank you! *to Virgo* Now, Virgo-kun, we're not mad at you for this lovely fic.  
  
Virgo: *sniffle* You're not?  
  
Shin: Of course not! It's just that we kinda want to be together and not one-sided type thing.  
  
Touma: What he said.  
  
Virgo: Oh. *thinks for a moment* how 'bout I make a sequel to this, then?  
  
Shin: That would be nice, thank you.  
  
Virgo: Right! *pause* Now I just have to think up another story.  
  
Touma: This is gonna take a while.  
  
Shin: Hush. You're no help.  
  
All comments and the like are to be sent to LadyVirgo@hotmail.com and I'm looking forward to the letters! Thank you!  
  
~Virgo 


End file.
